So I put up this picture yesterday:
And immediately got dozens upon dozens of comments, likes and shares from my Facebook friends on it… And to be honest I didn’t understand why…
The inspiration behind making the photo was from this video on YouTube:
Where the video creator, Arielle Scarcella (arielleishammin) talks about how she wonders what she would look like as a man, she also talks about how she thinks she would have a small D*CK… but let’s leave that for later.
So this sparked a little thought in my head… Does she along with a majority of her viewers believe that you can only IMAGINE being the other sex but not ACTUALLY be it? I was about to comment something talking about how I feel that her video is a bit Trans non inclusive but I decided to trash that.
Instead, I went looking through my external hard drive to search up my old boy pics from high school and then I found the mother lode! I found a picture of me from the Vancouver 2010 Olympics, where I got to hold a torch, also, that is how I looked and dressed for about a 3 year period, so that picture was amazing to see once again!
I edited that picture with one of me from maybe a week ago or so, reading “WAS BOY, IS NOW GIRL” yes I admit, not the perfect way to phrase that but it gets the point across…
So I then uploaded it to Facebook anticipating the response, I honestly didn’t realize I did the stereotypical trans thing by making a “before and after” picture, I was honestly going to title it, “didn’t realize as a girl I would look this good,” but immediately after posting the pic everyone started to applaud me on this “amazing” “brave” “courageous” act of mine…
I didn’t realize that posting pictures of you from before your transition was such a big darn deal! I apparently sparked inspiration in one of my friends (his words, not mine) and he then posted his before and after pictures on tumblr, and then everyone started Liking and Sharing and Commenting and Reblogging my picture on Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook and before I knew it I started getting Facebook and tumblr messages from people I didn’t know saying I am beautiful and gorgeous and amazing!
I seriously had a completely legitimate 15 minutes of fame, all the notifications and messages and comments!! Amazing!
I feel like I might have drifted away from my original meaning for this post but nonetheless I want to kind of talk about how you SHOULDN’T be afraid to be yourself, whether that “self” be in the past or present… Especially when you’re trans, don’t shame your past because you were a boy or girl and didn’t feel like one or want to be one, accept it and embrace it! Some of my greatest memories were from when I was a boy!
I can’t put up with people that do crap like that… I don’t like talking to someone who is Trans and hearing them say, [Trans girl ex.] “Oh my god I hated being a boy, it was the worst thing ever oh my god thank goodness I’m not one anymore…” Because my response would be, “well you still got moobs, you still have a dick, except it’s been flipped, and your face still looks like a boys’…” and not because I’m mean, it’s because that person is probably lying, PROBABLY.
Look, I know that there were a bunch of YEARS as a kid where I was depressed and suicidal and life was throwing me curve balls every day but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have a few good times! Personally, my special trait is that I can pick point a good thing out of every bad situation, it’s also a curse because there’s times when I make the “crudest” of jokes at “inappropriate” times… But the fact is, even though I WAAAS a boy, and even though I was constantly in bad moods because of it doesn’t mean there weren’t times when I was smiling, like when I would do “opera voices” with my step dad, or talk about ways to use the “lean, mean, grilling machine” with my mom, or the times I would joke and play around with my grandma, grandpa, and great grand-uncle!
I had plenty of great times pre transition and I wish that other trans people would see that they shouldn’t be afraid to show who they were. YES, it was super hard to put that picture of me up because I now feel like people won’t look at me as a “girl” anymore, I also feel like people will gossip about me more.
But you know what the truth is?
They will probably stop talking bad about you behind your back or at least they won’t talk about how much you look like a boy, because they’ll be talking about how much you look like a girl now! They will start to notice how you trim your eyebrows to the last hair, how you shade your bronzers to make your cheeks appear thinner, and how you accessorize your outfit to make your hips bigger, or your boobs rounder! They will stop talking about how self-absorbed you seem and they will start noticing how you are, in reality, trying to keep yourself incognito so people don’t start talking about you [more].
I swear, after putting that picture up, I feel so much more at ease with myself. Not so ashamed, and not so unhappy… I feel great knowing that people find me inspiring, or amazing (and especially attractive!!) and I cannot explain in proper English how I feel so here we go, imma try this in text form now…
There you go, my emotions in text form… Well I guess that’s it for this blog post, I’m currently working on one where I talk about how I have this weird attraction to Trans guys that I still quite don’t understand… Mostly because my two main crushes right now ARE Trans guys, but yeah… one is taken, and one is currently enjoying the single life so I’ll stick to my relationship with my computer… HOT… no seriously though, my computer has been on for a while so it’s pretty hot... Guess I should turn it off now… okay then… BYYYEEEEEE!!